Feeding on Ashes

This is a post from July 2012. This verse in Isaiah is one of the verses that has given me freedom from fear and anxiety. I hope it blesses someone else.

Lord, today I pray that this word from You will help someone else struggling just as it has myself. I have read this verse in your word many times, but until recently I have not ever really understood it the way you intended for me to.. I know that You spoke this word into my heart for “such a time as this” and I pray that You will use me to help other find freedom as well.

I, like you, probably have read this verse in scripture many times. It is Isaiah 44:20. The word says ” He feeds on ashes; a deceived heart has turned him aside; and he cannot deliver his soul, Nor say, Is there not a lie in my right hand?”

In reading this verse one day, I clearly know that God spoke a word into my heart concerning this verse. As most know through my blog, I have struggled with fear, anxiety and agoraphobia most of my life. The agoraphobia has not been as much of a struggle until the last 6 or 7 years and most of that was caused by some major traumas in my life through suicides and murders. I didn’t want to really live because I had felt so guilt from the losses of my grandmother and grandfather, because somehow I felt that maybe I could’ve changed the outcome of that situation. Yet, the past 6 or 8 months, God has been doing a tremendous work in my life, my heart and my choices. I have been in counseling which has helped me so much but more than that, I have finally decided that the choices others have made, are just that; their choices. I cannot go back and make any part of my life story different; whether better or worse, but I can choose to live from this day forward.

In reading this scripture, God really spoke to my heart the following:  Angie, you are holding onto ashes instead of ME and MY Word and this has let you have a deluded heart that has mislead you. Angie, you believe by holding onto the guilt, shame, abuse, hurt and fear and agoraphobia, this somehow negates the call I have on your life. It does not. My call on your life is stronger than any fear, shame, guilt, or pain you can carry because those are only ashes and will continue to delude your heart and keep you from all I have for you as YOUR LORD..

For me, I truly know this was God telling me I must step out of the past and into the future. (book title) I know that He has a bigger plan for me than my fears, anxiety and agoraphobia. I pray that you, the reader will find healing in that word as well. God loves you, accepts you, but doesn’t want you to continue to sin and certainly doesn’t want you to stop living. I know that you want to live as well, so take the first step today. Ask HIM into your heart as your savior if you haven’t done that before. Then from this moment on, you will have someone that will never leave you, nor forsake you. Hebrews 13: 5.

Please leave me a comment if you have been helped by this post or if you need prayer. I would love to pray for you


  1. This is beautiful Angie, very encouraging. I know the pain of fear and anxiety and it is amazing how many Believers suffer with it and put on a happy smiley face to the world, I really liked your post because it was indeed a beautiful revelation from God to choose to let go of ashes and live. Like you, God is still doing that work in me but I feel like I have literally risen from the ashes and am making my upwards descent.

    Thank you for being you and sharing your journey with others. x

    1. Thanks I am a Vessel of God. I am still a work in progress as well but God has done so much in my life the last year especially. I love your blog as well. God Bless. thanks for checking out my new site. Hope you will continue to follow.

  2. I’m so grateful that He never leaves us. And this is so true, “I cannot go back and make any part of my life story different; whether better or worse, but I can choose to live from this day forward.” Great words of encouragement Angie!

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