Most of my life, I have lived in the shadow of fear, anxiety and agoraphobia. But God has done a tremendous work in my life over the last two years and I am so enjoying the journey of this new path I am currently walking with Him.
Finding new things that I enjoy have been such a rewarding experience. I have always loved reading, studying new subjects, doing Bible Studies and keeping my home, family and relationships well-tended, but through this new journey I am realizing that I also enjoy many other things.
Recently, I began trying my hand at acrylic painting, which I have never done before. My grandmother who was murdered in 1996 was a very talented oil painting artist, and I really had never thought of trying my hand at this craft, but wow… So fulfilling and I think I am pretty good for a beginner. I have done about 5 paintings so far and even given a few paintings to friends and family. I am no expert or anyone that creates masterpieces, yet I am truly enjoying the learning process. It helps me think and de-stress.
( Two of my first paintings)
I have also learned that my house will not fall apart if it is not spotless. Often, my OCD kicks in and I feel like even one small speck of dirt is so, so wrong, yet I am working to gain a sense of freedom in letting IT GO.. I still like to have a well-kept home that feels welcoming and homey, yet I want to enjoy my life as well. Being fanatical about housework and a spotless house is not enjoyable to me anymore. I have so, so much more to learn, experience and see after 15 years of living an agoraphobic lifestyle.. NOW is all I have. I am not guaranteed tomorrow.
I have also learned that I have a story to tell and tell it I must. It has been cathartic to tell of my struggle with anxiety, fear and agoraphobia as well as my childhood abuse and neglect. I truly believe that God has used my brokenness and pain to speak to others and for that, I am forever thankful. Of course, I wish I had not had to go through so much pain and tragedies in my life, but I know that God has never left me nor turned His back on me. Each step I have taken in this journey of life has been all for Him and His glory.
I am by no means a perfect person in any form or fashion, yet I have a perfect God who loves me unconditionally. I hope you will look to Him for your total acceptance and love as well. He will not let you down even when others fail us.
This journey has been such an amazing ride, and often scary at times. Lately though, I can honestly say it has been so much fun..
Looking forward to the next part of this amazing ride God has called me to experience with HIM.
Angie Webb has been married to her high school sweetheart since they were in high school. Now, 30 years later they are more in love than ever. Angie and her husband have two grown sons and three grandchildren. Angie can be found writing a bi-monthly column at Heartbeat The Magazine, http://www.heartbeatthemagazine.com called Angie’s Insights. Angie also has an author page at Joyful Journey by Angie Webb on Facebook. You can also connect with her through Twitter at Angiewebb65.