Part One: Living is Believing

For the next few weeks, I hope to focus on learning to stand on the Word of God, even when we are in the depths of despair, hurt, pain and even anger.

As Christians, we all know that the Word of God is our place to fall back on even when we doubt, but how do you stand on the Word when you still feel like nothing is changing in your life? How do you stand on the Word of God even when you see your life slipping farther and farther down? How do you stand on the Word of God when you don’t find your miracle or healing?

My life has had many struggles from:
abuse
neglect
angry parents
controlling parents
car wreck
teenage pregnancy
suicide/murders
fear/anxiety/agoraphobia
jealousy
loss of friendships/jobs/relationships

Every day in this world; it is a challenge on some level for most people; even Christians. We are not immune to pain and suffering, yet often the “world” believes that we don’t feel pain and our lives are picture perfect.

Then reality sets in and they see first hand how we live our lives as well as how we deal with pain, tragedy and loss.

I haven’t been the best example at times of living my life for Christ, but I can say that even in the darkest moments of my life after the loss of my grandmother and grandfather to a murder/suicide, I never lost hope that God would bring healing and forgiveness back into my heart. Oh MY.. That was the hardest path to find myself on because I wanted to hold onto my anger and bitterness. I could not find a reason to forgive. I could not see any good in the loss of my grandmother. I gave up on life and quit living..

One day of fear, anxiety and agoraphobia led to 17 years of living with it day after day. I have always suffered with anxiety on some level, but in 1997 I totally gave up on ever having any type of happiness or freedom again. I QUIT LIVING and basically stopped believing that anything would ever change.

Oh, I believed the Word of God but I didn’t believe He would ever do anything in my life like I have seen in other’s lives or those in the Bible. I felt like somehow along the way, God forgot me.

I could see God doing great and mighty miracles in other people’s lives yet I was continually struggling with fear and anxiety. Then when I had such overwhelming agoraphobia, I would beg for God to take the pain away…Yet, it continued to control my life no matter how much I prayed, begged and pleaded..

Living with anxiety is difficult, but then you compound that with the fear and agoraphobia, it was so overwhelming I basically just wanted to give up. I reached a point where I wanted to die and wished I could have died.

Now, let us look at the Word of God to find some answers to how to stand even when we don’t understand.
God is no respecter of persons. What HE has done for me, HE CAN DO FOR YOU AS WELL…
Scriptures:

Romans 8:28
All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. ( We are all called if we love God. And if we love God, then good will come even from bad)

2 Timothy 1:7
God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of love, power and sound mind. ( Our mind is from God if we are Christians and the Holy Spirit indwells within us, so therefore we cannot be full of fear and still have power, love and sound mind. Fear must leave)

Acts 10:34
In truth I perceive that God shows no partiality.
(God does not withhold peace and freedom for HIS children. If HE does it for me, He can do it for you.)

Luke 1:37
For with God nothing will be impossible. (NOTHING IS OVER UNTIL GOD SAYS OUR TIME HERE IS DONE..Until then, hope is still available.)

Jeremiah 33:6
Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth. (God is able to take all pain, hurt, fear, anxiety, depression and on and on from our lives. Never give up believing and stretching your faith for the answer.)

Psalm 73:23
Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand, You will guide me with Your counsel.
(God is always holding our hand as we walk through this life, even when we feel alone. He is guiding us in His plan.)

Well, for now we will stop. Let us take the time to remember the places we have found ourselves in the past and from whence we came. By doing so we can remember the tremendous work God has already done in our lives and the power that He has to continue to work in our lives. NEVER LOSE HOPE…

Father, I thank You for the blessings you have sent me in this life. Even as a small child, I knew I was valuable to You, even when I felt alone in this life. Life has brought many challenges and struggles, but through it all, my faith has only grown stronger and my love for YOU more deep. You have done so many miracles in my life, yet I know that the END has not been written yet. I am excited to see what YOU have planned for my future as well as for the future of the readers. You have never stopped guiding me and loving me. Thank You for all the love, blessings and strength You have provided me in my darkest moments. Look where I am today. I never thought it would be possible. The “little” enemy keeps trying to win, but I am stronger than he thinks and I have You on my side.

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