To Know Me

To know me, you would have to know me on many different levels.

For years I hid behind a wall that was so tall no one could get close. I hid behind a mask as well, pretending that all was well while on many levels, my life was a chaotic mess.

What do you look like behind the walls and masks?

Do you like yourself?

Do you enjoy being alone with yourself or do you always need others around?

Do you feel happy with your life or are you just pretending everything is okay?

Do you believe you are living a life full of purpose or just going through the motions?

I could say for many years; probably most of my life I could say I didn’t like myself, didn’t want to be alone and certainly was only going through the motions.

Life had dealt me a hand of many trials, tragedies and pain that I seemed to be unable to overcome.

Pain so deep that I often just wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

Hurt2

Pain so deep that no one could understand.

Loss so painful…

Too much to handle, yet my life continued on no matter how desperately I often wished it would end.

Can you relate at all?

Life can be tough just in everyday life. But my life has been anything but normal.

Tragedy has followed my family in so many ways. Too painful to even describe on many levels because the reality is just so disturbing. Disturbing  images of loss of loved ones to suicides and murder are just too damaging to even describe, yet that is what I have had to live with in my own mind for over 20 years.

Yet, God has allowed me to overcome much of my painful past. He has done a tremendous work in my heart and mind over the last two years.  Freedom is possible.

I will never allow the enemy to speak to me of the past and try to control my present. The past will never be forgotten but the past is over. Today is all I am guaranteed. Tomorrow is not promised and the past cannot be changed, so why continue to live there.

Would you mind if I prayed for you?

Lord, I come to you asking you to allow freedom to come to the reader. Help them to find peace and freedom through Your Word and  to feel Your love in the situations they are facing. Help us to allow the walls and masks to be laid aside while we seek to find our true selves. Life can be a battle but the battle is ultimately won by Your Word and by the power of the blood. Evil has no power in our lives. Help us to know ourselves and to believe in ourselves. We deserve the best and often the best is misplaced in the battles of life but YOU have overcome the world by sending YOUR son Jesus Christ to live in our hearts. We believe and want the best, which also means we want to KNOW YOU and KNOW OURSELVES. Thank YOU, Lord for all YOU have done in my own life and for the continued peace. God, grant it to everyone reading this today.

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4 comments

  1. Someone once tried to throw our family’s curses back on our oldest son – and I reminded him that Jesus can to break those curses – and because of Him they no longer exist. It is a liberating thing to live free like that – and it takes vigilance to keep others from throwing things on us that don’t belong! It took me a while to understand that – that He makes us whole out of our brokenness – whether we are broken because of our actions or those around us! So glad that you have let Him into your life to Heal and deliver you from your pain!

  2. Dear Angie
    I am so sorry to hear about how you have suffered so much in your life. I think you had more than your fair share. But you have also experienced extravagant, scandalous grace to break down that tower of self-loathing to allow our Lord to make you see what a beautiful woman you are in His eyes. Just keep holding the Hand of your Beloved, sweet friend, look deep into His eyes and see that you are the apple of His eye.
    Blessings and much love XX
    Mia

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