Where You Begin

Under the Weight of It All

I am breaking

Today, I am empty.

But today I will not allow the empty, broken feelings to become who I am.

Why would I allow the enemy to reach into my mind once again?

I am not a quitter and I am certainly stronger than anything this world can throw my way.

I may seem to be broken but I am redeemed by the power of Jesus Christ. He has set me free from anxiety, fear, abuse, neglect, dysfunction and  agoraphobia, so why would I quit now.??

Where You Begin Lord, is where I also where I begin. My life has not been easy on many levels, but I know that the past will not define my future.

Whether I am loved by my siblings and mother…

You Love Me..

My future is bright because the Lord has placed a call on my life to minister to others that struggle with fear, anxiety and agoraphobia. My life is not wasted and nothing I have dealt with will ever be wasted. God has a plan and His plan is for good in my life as well as the life of my husband, children and grandchildren.

Nothing is wasted.

I am worthy because God has called me worthy, loved, beautiful, chosen….

When God designed my birth family… there was issues, but even in that situation I have been an overcomer and survivor.

Once again, I will prove to those that want to beat me and my family down..

I will survive and we will always stand together. Nothing will ever change the reality of the past. But I will not allow the evil to define my future or the future of my children.

I am broken, empty and lost but it will be better tomorrow, and the next day and the next.

But their lives will still be the same..

Jealousy shows its ugly head once again.

Lord, today I want you to help me work on my heart. My heart is broken but it is not beyond repair. I have overcome so much and I know this is just another part of the story that must be played out. I know that the plans for me are for good. Romans 8:28. You see the hearts of those that are causing so much pain and damage to myself and my child.. You are the ultimate judge and jury. Hold them accountable but also hold me accountable for the heart I have. Keep my heart pure and true. Help me to forgive. Help me to be able to keep the boundaries in place and the safety measures in place. It breaks my heart that we as a family cannot be civil and kind to one another but this has been my life for so long I really know no other way.. Thankful today for the Godly man you gave me to love and be loved by for the last 30 years.

Linking back with:

More to Be

Rich Faith Rising

Heart Reflected

Advertisements

5 comments

  1. Dear Angie, I love this beautifully written glimpse into your sweet heart! Thank you for being so honest here, sharing your heart break. I pray the Lord will continue to lift your eyes to His purposes, encouraging you, as He reveals His good plans for you! I pray God rains down blessings from above over you, your husband, and your children lives! And that He would keep you safe in the palm of His hand! I love you, FRIEND! ♥ P.j.

  2. Beautiful! Thank you for sharing Mandisa’s song too. I had not heard it yet. May you walk forward in the victory that He has provided for you. The past does not determine the future. It does not define you. It has no power over you. I think we all hold on by a thread at some point. I hope you don’t mind that I share a post I recently wrote about this very thing. My prayer is that you would find encouragement….. http://daysnthoughts.com/2013/10/28/holding-on-by-a-thread/
    Blessings,
    Joanne

  3. Such beautiful and authentic writing. I paused and asked God to help you in this hurtful situation. I love how you’ve turned what the enemy meant for evil into reaching out to others who are hurting.
    Joyfully,
    Pamela

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s