2013

New Dreams

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As a child, I loved to write in my journal or diary all of the dreams I had for myself and my life.

Some of them have been achieved, yet over time God has given me new dreams to achieve.

I always dreamed as a child of being a wife and mother, which has come true. As a child, I never really dreamed of being a grandmother, but I am also one of those as well. Life is pretty sweet.

The biggest dream I had as a child was to be a writer. My life revolved around writing whether it be in a diary or studying the encyclopedia’s as I made notations of interesting facts, the writing with pen and paper has always been part of my heart. The joy I felt as a child having the written words from my heart on a piece of paper..

Oh the joy of the written word. I still feel that way 40 years later.

My heart is full when I see that what I write helps someone else, even in a small way.

We are looking forward to a new year. It is hard to believe that we are going to be headed into 2014. Where has the time gone?

Today, I want to offer you hope that this new year is a clean slate to reach for new dreams. Reach to the sky and seek the fullest life you can ever dream of. Life can be a blast. The dreams we have in our hearts are put there from our God.

Remember the dreams of past years but also reach for new dreams.

Let me pray for you today:

Lord, help us to reach for the stars. Nothing is out of reach with you walking beside us and guiding us on the journey of life. Today, Lord reignite the fire within us for the dreams that have fallen away but also help us to reach for new dreams in the new year. Lord, thank You for all that you have done for each of us in 2013. I stand in awe of all the amazing life changes You have done in my life personally. I am looking forward to 2014 and the amazing doors that You are going to open for me.

Coming Soon:

January 10th 2014

http://www.angiekaywebb.com

Stay Tuned

Suffering

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Sometimes I feel like I am barely holding on. Life has been very difficult for me and my family the last month.

Our family has had several illnesses as well as Thanksgiving somewhere in between. Life has been a challenge because no one has felt well, yet life continues to move forward even when we beg for it to stop.

I really just need a break from life. I haven’t felt well, plus I have been very tired and not sleeping well, then on top of that I just feel very alone.

Lost and lonely.

Tired and stressed.

Hurt and down.

Life just has not been easy for me. I try to be encouraging on this blog, but often I just need an encouraging word myself. Someone to walk beside me, holding my hand in the times of pain.

This past week we lost my mother-in-law after her battle for the last 3 1/2 years. She is no longer in pain, yet the struggle has just begun for some in the family. I have been married to her son for 30 years, but even in that situation, it is still not easy for anyone to lose a loved one; especially at Christmas time.

I am just feeling overwhelmed. The holidays have not been working out as I had hoped. Many of my plans have fallen through or I have just ran out of time. I wanted to make some candy but the weather and time did not permit it to happen. I think this is the first year in 30 years of marriage that I have not made holiday candy for my family and friends.

I haven’t had time to do many things I had wanted to do; but then there is always next year.

If you think about it, would you please pray for me?

I am really struggling right now with many issues. I just need a break, so for the next week I will not be online much. Please do not forget me or my blog.

After January 10th, I will have a brand new website design, which I am excited to make “live” soon. Please check back.

Hugs to each of my readers.

Merry Christmas from The Webb’s

Christmas 2013 Letter

The year has some amazing experiences that I have never experienced after years of living with anxiety, fear and agoraphobia.

One was a new job in retail that later led to being promoted to Part Time Assistant Manager. This job was a new experience because it required me traveling to a new area for the job as well as working and driving at night, which I had not done for many years. I learned a lot from this time as a PT Assistant Manager but I also learned that I am stronger than I originally thought I was.

cato

The time I spent at Cato was a great experience in many ways, but also very stressful. I am thankful for the lessons I learned.

After all of the years of not traveling due to my anxiety and agoraphobia, we made a trip this year to San Antonio and Austin with some friends. It was a great experience and I got to see much of the state of Texas that I had not seen before. We had a great time shopping, sight seeing and eating lots of food. Good times. I have now made 4 trips out of town on short and long trips. Some have been a few hours away but others have been up to 9 hours from home. So, needless to say, God has done a tremendous work in my life over the last 2 years.

san antonioAustin Texas

I love this picture of Mike and I on the River Walk in San Antonio. I had always wanted to visit there, but never had until this year. Great memories. sanantonionMike and I have owned our own business for the last 3 years, which is doing really well. Mike has a great customer base and great customer service. He is very well liked in our community, which has a great impact on his business as well. In about 5 years Mike can retire from his full-time job and his plan is just to focus on Texas Overhead Door & Construction.

texas overhead logo

The best part of the year was celebrating 30 years of marriage to Mike. We married in 1983 at the age of 16 years old (M) and 18 years old (A). No one thought we would even make it one year, so I guess our love was more powerful than most thought.

30th anniversary

God has done a tremendous work in both of our lives over the last 30 years. We have walked beside each other through loss of his brother to suicide, the murder/suicide of my grandparents, death of parents and loss of other meaningful relationships. It is a great testament to our love when each day we still hold hands and kiss each other hello and goodbye. 30 years .. We are more than friends or lovers. We are best friends.

Merry Christmas from the Webb’s

May God richly bless you in the coming year.

Dreaming of Now

tree up to sky

As a child, dreaming is such a powerful part of our lives. We look forward to the future, even when we are unsure of what the future holds. The dreams seem to be within our reach and help us to strive to reach for the moon.

Dreams can become reality but often in our lives, dreams don’t pan out. Life becomes a roller coaster of ups and downs. Often more downs than ups. We still hold the dreams of our childhood often deep within our minds and hearts, yet we don’t see any way of making them a reality. We live so focused on just “surviving” whatever situation we are currently facing.

Maybe the reality of your life has squished your dreams as well. Maybe the life you are living feels more like a nightmare at times.

I know at times in my 48 years of life on this earth, I have wondered when the dream life would happen. Life was such a tremendous struggle most of my life; most not of my own doing. Some was my doing but often it was caused from my dysfuctinonal past life…How do your overcome something that changed the course of your life?

I often wondered that myself. I knew nothing other than the life I had from birth. Yet, that life caused me so much heartache, anxiety and ultimately losing much of myself.

Dreams of becoming the President of the United State was still in the back of my mind.

Dreams of one day becoming a famous author were still there in the depths of my heart

Dreams of children and a good family life

Dreams of having a dog to love because my parents didn’t allow pets

Dreams of traveling the world

Dreams of being loved just for being Angie

Dreams of everything I could imagine

What are your dreams now?

What were your dreams as a child?

Have you achieved in reaching your dreams?

Some of my dreams have come true and for that I am forever thankful.

My life is thankfully not over so with God’s help, I have the opportunity to continue to reach for the sky.

Dreams can come true

I am married to the love of my life. We have been married for 30 years; from the age of 16 and 18 years old.

I have two grown sons and three grandchildren.

I have 4 dogs currently and have had many other pets over the last 30 years of married life.

I have a home that is full of love and mercy.

My husband loves and accepts me; faults and all.

A life well lived is a life that quites the evil spoken by others.

My dream of writing a book and having it published are a work in progress. The story I am writing is about my journey from a fearful, anxious child to adult that later overcame her fears as well as agoraphobia. With God all things are possible.

Keep Dreaming

Our dreams are never wasted. God knows our hearts and what we want for our lives. Keep seeking Him and HIS heart. HIS plan is always right, even when we doubt.

Stay tuned to HIM

DREAMING OF NOW..

Now is all we are guaranteed. Not tomorrow. Not the next day.

ONLY NOW.

Live Now

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Are you living now?

Or living in the future?

Or living in the past?

You can’t really LIVE if you are living in the past or in the future.

All we are guaranteed is today. Today is the only time God has given us. We have no ties to the past because we can’t change anything that has happened or anything that has been said. We can apologize and try to make amends, but in reality we can only live for today. Our past has no power to control us or our lives unless we give the past the power. Our lives are more than our past and more than our future.

God has placed a special plan and purpose into each of our lives, yet often we focus so much on “finding” that purpose, we forget to live in the present moment.

Moments where memories are lost. MomentsĀ  where we often forget to appreciate what we have and where we are in our lives. Maybe we aren’t exactly where we wish we were at this point in our lives, but by always focusing on the “greener” pastures, we forget that we have so much to be thankful for.

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It is time to live for me. After living a life so focused on my anxiety, fear and agoraphobia for over 15 years, I have decided that life is to be enjoyed. In the process of “finding” myself after being hidden for so long, I have realized that special moments are in every aspect of my life if I will take the time to look. In the small things such as a wet kiss on the nose from my dog, Penny to huge moments of having a big hug from my son Chance. Each moment means the world to me because for so long, I lived in a bubble of fear and anxiety. I didn’t take time to enjoy those special moments. Life just was plain overwhelming…

But today, I am in a better place, free from Fear. How about you? What are you doing to LIVE NOW?

Take the time to focus on the small and big moments. God gives us each day to live. Remember HE loved us and gave His only son to die for our sins. He wants you and I to really LIVE.

A Good Life Lived

For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people.

1 Peter 2: 15

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Living a good life requires work.

A life well lived is certainly a life that pleases God. We are called to live a life that pleases the Lord. Yet, living a life that pleases God requires certain aspects to be followed.

We must:

Love God

Love Others

Love Ourselves

But also, live a life that offers grace, mercy, forgiveness, hope, love, patience. None of these are necessarily easy, but when we live a life that pleases the Lord as well doing life in such a way that it “silences the ignorant talk” we are a free people (verse 16). Freedom is not what the enemy wants for the believers of Christ. The enemy wants us to stay bound to the past and to live a life which is unhappy, unhealthy and full of pain. God wants better for His children.

Our lives speak for themselves. But our lives also speak to others who continue to rattle off hate, injustice, unforgiveness toward us or those we love. It is not easy to be the bigger person and walk away, but often by walking away we offer our lives as a testament to the strength we have through Christ. Christ knows our hearts and the pain we have felt, but one day it is just time to walk away and let the lives we live be enough.

Silence the hate

Silence the injustice

Silence the unforgiveness

Offer restoration

Offer resolution

Offer forgiveness

And then if the hate continues, walk away and pray.

Yet, continue to seek His will and His love for you.

The enemy wants the chatter to continue

But live your life so the enemy and ignorant talk STOP.

Our lives speak for themselves.

What is your life saying to the world?

Linking up:

Simply Beth

The Beauty in His Grip

My Daily Walk in His Grace

Violet Imperfection

Still Trusting

Lord

You are sovereign, I know

Yet, often I wonder if you see

The loss

The hurt

The rejection

The pain

You are loving, I know

Yet, often I wonder if you see

The one that feels unloved

The one that feels lost and alone

The one that wishes it all to end

You are loving, I know

Yet, often I wonder if you hear

The cries of loss

The cries of anger

The cries of rejection

The cries of ended relationships

You are loving, I know

Yet, often I wonder do you have a plan

For redemption

For restoration

For the best plan to unfold

For families and loved ones to be reconnected

For the love of others to abound.

Lord,

This is my prayer today.

Help us to love, restore, repair, accept and live the best life.

Where You Begin

Under the Weight of It All

I am breaking

Today, I am empty.

But today I will not allow the empty, broken feelings to become who I am.

Why would I allow the enemy to reach into my mind once again?

I am not a quitter and I am certainly stronger than anything this world can throw my way.

I may seem to be broken but I am redeemed by the power of Jesus Christ. He has set me free from anxiety, fear, abuse, neglect, dysfunction andĀ  agoraphobia, so why would I quit now.??

Where You Begin Lord, is where I also where I begin. My life has not been easy on many levels, but I know that the past will not define my future.

Whether I am loved by my siblings and mother…

You Love Me..

My future is bright because the Lord has placed a call on my life to minister to others that struggle with fear, anxiety and agoraphobia. My life is not wasted and nothing I have dealt with will ever be wasted. God has a plan and His plan is for good in my life as well as the life of my husband, children and grandchildren.

Nothing is wasted.

I am worthy because God has called me worthy, loved, beautiful, chosen….

When God designed my birth family… there was issues, but even in that situation I have been an overcomer and survivor.

Once again, I will prove to those that want to beat me and my family down..

I will survive and we will always stand together. Nothing will ever change the reality of the past. But I will not allow the evil to define my future or the future of my children.

I am broken, empty and lost but it will be better tomorrow, and the next day and the next.

But their lives will still be the same..

Jealousy shows its ugly head once again.

Lord, today I want you to help me work on my heart. My heart is broken but it is not beyond repair. I have overcome so much and I know this is just another part of the story that must be played out. I know that the plans for me are for good. Romans 8:28. You see the hearts of those that are causing so much pain and damage to myself and my child.. You are the ultimate judge and jury. Hold them accountable but also hold me accountable for the heart I have. Keep my heart pure and true. Help me to forgive. Help me to be able to keep the boundaries in place and the safety measures in place. It breaks my heart that we as a family cannot be civil and kind to one another but this has been my life for so long I really know no other way.. Thankful today for the Godly man you gave me to love and be loved by for the last 30 years.

Linking back with:

More to Be

Rich Faith Rising

Heart Reflected

Loving and Changing

mike and angie3Love Changes, yet often stays the same. God calls us to love deeply, but to also to continue to grow. We cannot become stagnant in our lives; whether in marriage, raising our children or being a great employee.

We must step out and seek the best God has for us.

Life is to be lived to the fullest.

After 30 years of marriage, I am still learning more and more about our lives together and about Mike.

But more importantly, I am learning about myself.

From an 18-year-old wife, mom and daughter in law in one fell swoop, to a 48-year-old wife, mom, grandmother and daughter in law…

I have learned that God requires me to seek the best, even in the worst situations. My normal tendency is to look at the negatives instead of the positives, but that is something I was taught as a child. Tendency from genetics and environment to look at the negative.

Yet, God says to believe the best in all situations. Even when we think it is over, He can make it new.

He has done that for me in my relationships in many instances; especially in 2006 when we were on the verge of divorce.

Nothing is impossible with God. Luke 1: 37

I wanted a different marriage and a different life for myself as well as my family, yet often I failed.
Didn’t know any different, yet God has done a tremendous work in my life as well as my marriage.

How about you?

What did you learn from your growing up years that you carried over to your family and marriage?

What goals did you make for yourself in reference to your home life and relationships to have a different outcome?

I believe that God can change any willing person; whether a woman, man or child. God wants our hearts and also wants the best for us.

We will fall short at times, but that doesn’t mean we need to give up.

Keep the goal in your forefront.

Take steps each day to love more deeply, talk more sweetly and to forgive more easily.

Thankful today for the love of a good, Godly man, who has richly blessed me. He has believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself, but more importantly he has loved me when I wasn’t loveable.

Love you, Mike