Anxiety

Life, even when …

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Life goes on, even when..

What would your even when be?

I could fill that in with many words

Suicide

Murder

Anxiety

Fear

Agoraphobia

Painful Relationships

Dysfunction

But, even when I don’t understand, God does. I may not ever know the reasons why certain circumstances or aspects of life have happened the way they have, but even when I don’t, there is still a plan and purpose.

I may never understand why my grandmother was murdered by my grandfather in 1996. I may never understand why I suffered so many, many years with anxiety, fear and agoraphobia. I may never understand the painful relationships. But God does.

Yet, I have to choose to believe that God will not waste any pain or heartache or joy  in the big scheme of His plan for me or my life.        I wish I could understand this side of heaven, but I still trust in HIM and HIS plan. I do not claim that this is always easy at times but still I believe it is the best way.

Psalm 115

Certainly, in this fallen world, we all face heartaches and struggles, but I can attest that I have often felt beyond God’s reach. I have felt forgotten and alone. Even in the church, I have felt this way. Pushed aside. Lonely and fearful. Afraid to leave my home, yet often afraid of being in my home. A life of an agoraphobic is tragic and painful.

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” If you can’t be thankful for what you receive, be thankful for what you escape.” Click to Tweet

Sometimes the only answer is:

Lord you are Sovereign. That may be all you can offer now as well. That is enough while you wait for the next step in your journey. He hasn’t forgotten you.

Or me.

” He who limps still walks.” Stainslaw Lec

Sharing at:

Sandra Heskaking

 Essential Things Devotions

Beauty in His Grip

Janis Cox

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Imagine Freedom

Imagine freedom from fear or anxiety.

What does it look like in your mind?

Have you ever experienced that before?

Freedom is possible with God. Personally, I know the struggle you may be facing today. You feel like the freedom you so desperately want is just out of reach or God only has that for someone else.

We tend to believe the lies of the enemy instead of looking at the wonderful aspects of our lives that God has given us on a daily basis.

I understand.

I did the same thing for so long. I doubted His love for me, even though I could look around and see all the beautiful aspects of my life.

Yet, the one aim of my life seemed so out of reach.

Freedom from fear, anxiety and agoraphobia was nowhere to be found; or so it seemed.

Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable. Click to Tweet

Nothing is impossible with God, even when we doubt or feel unworthy.

Luke 1:37 For with God nothing is impossible.

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God has a plan, even when we don’t understand. After all of my struggles, I have a story to tell. Our stories help others know that they are not alone.

Share your story here today. What has God healed your from or helped you overcome?

Nothing is lost.

Let me pray for you:

Lord, nothing is lost in your sight. You know the beginning and the end of our lives. We have pain but that can be used for your glory if we follow your leading. I pray that anyone that is struggling today, that they can find a sense of peace by listening for your voice. You speak and we listen. Help us to quiet ourselves. Help us to seek your face and to see the wonder in even the small freedoms we have.

Linking up with

Simply Beth

Juana Mikels

The Beauty in His Grip

Messy Marriage

Miracles

Do you believe in miracles?

Have you ever personally experienced a miracle?

How would you define a miracle?

Dictionary.com defines it as follows:

1. an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause.
2. such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of God.
3.a wonder; marvel.
Miracles
If we take the time each day to slow down and look at our lives, as well as those close to us, I think we would see a miracle.
Did you wake up today?
Did you drive to and from work without an accident?
Did your children arrive home safely from school?
Is your home safe, clean and full of love?
Are you living a life that is beyond what you ever dreamed or imagined?
I would say each and every one of those are miracles in a small or large way.
God does amazing things for us each and every day that we take for granted.
We somehow believe that we are guaranteed safety, security and a life full of promise.
Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and to not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. “
Of course, God promised that in HIS word but we also live in a fallen world where life can become something much worse than the promises God has said He has for us.
I think of all of the years I wasted being full of fear, anxiety and eventually agoraphobia.
How much life I missed.
Sad. 😦
I prayed.
I begged.
I hoped.
I gave up.
I dreamed of more.
I felt lost and alone.
Yet, God had a bigger plan.
A plan for a MIRACLE
What miracle are you needing today?
A big miracle?
A huge miracle?
miracles
Don’t let the enemy convince you that God doesn’t care or isn’t listening.
He hasn’t forgotten you today, sweet friend.
He is all ears and His heart is connected to yours.
Nothing is beyond HIS reach; even the miracle waiting in the wings.
Keep Standing
Keep Praying
Keep Moving
Praying for you and your miracle. If you have a miracle story to share, please comment and let me know. I would love to hear.

Step Out Today

Risk Requires Trust

Do you Trust God enough to handle whatever you are facing?

It is hard to face change, especially when we get so accustomed to having things a certain way.

We wake up the same time everyday and we go to bed the same time.

We eat the same food for breakfast and we drive the same route to work.

All of that is perfectly fine, but how about today we take a chance and risk doing something different today.

Go a different route to work. Eat something different for breakfast.

Change is necessary and so is

RISK

Risking is difficult as well. I know personally how difficult it is to RISK and CHANGE.

After years of living with fear, anxiety and agoraphobia…

I am now FREE.

God set me free in August 2012

Risking is possible

Change is necessary

and

Freedom is Possible

Today, take a chance to make a change in your everyday life but also take RISK to get FREE from whatever is holding you back.

Freedom is sweet and God is amazing.

What is your story?

Are you ready to RISK and CHANGE?

Step Out Today and LIVE BIG FOR GOD

Linking up with Simply Beth

Year in Review

winter tree

A year of beauty but also a year of pain.

That has been my life.

Relationships fail

Pain is inflicted; whether intentional or unintentional

Harm is done that cannot be forgetten

Things will change whether we want them to or not.

But one thing that will never change is the power of God in our lives.

I am finally free.

Free from anxiety, fear and agoraphobia.

God has changed my life in so many ways.

Confidence

Self-Esteem

Love

Faith

Hope

Joy

Peace

And FREEDOM

Finally Free

Dreaming of Now

tree up to sky

As a child, dreaming is such a powerful part of our lives. We look forward to the future, even when we are unsure of what the future holds. The dreams seem to be within our reach and help us to strive to reach for the moon.

Dreams can become reality but often in our lives, dreams don’t pan out. Life becomes a roller coaster of ups and downs. Often more downs than ups. We still hold the dreams of our childhood often deep within our minds and hearts, yet we don’t see any way of making them a reality. We live so focused on just “surviving” whatever situation we are currently facing.

Maybe the reality of your life has squished your dreams as well. Maybe the life you are living feels more like a nightmare at times.

I know at times in my 48 years of life on this earth, I have wondered when the dream life would happen. Life was such a tremendous struggle most of my life; most not of my own doing. Some was my doing but often it was caused from my dysfuctinonal past life…How do your overcome something that changed the course of your life?

I often wondered that myself. I knew nothing other than the life I had from birth. Yet, that life caused me so much heartache, anxiety and ultimately losing much of myself.

Dreams of becoming the President of the United State was still in the back of my mind.

Dreams of one day becoming a famous author were still there in the depths of my heart

Dreams of children and a good family life

Dreams of having a dog to love because my parents didn’t allow pets

Dreams of traveling the world

Dreams of being loved just for being Angie

Dreams of everything I could imagine

What are your dreams now?

What were your dreams as a child?

Have you achieved in reaching your dreams?

Some of my dreams have come true and for that I am forever thankful.

My life is thankfully not over so with God’s help, I have the opportunity to continue to reach for the sky.

Dreams can come true

I am married to the love of my life. We have been married for 30 years; from the age of 16 and 18 years old.

I have two grown sons and three grandchildren.

I have 4 dogs currently and have had many other pets over the last 30 years of married life.

I have a home that is full of love and mercy.

My husband loves and accepts me; faults and all.

A life well lived is a life that quites the evil spoken by others.

My dream of writing a book and having it published are a work in progress. The story I am writing is about my journey from a fearful, anxious child to adult that later overcame her fears as well as agoraphobia. With God all things are possible.

Keep Dreaming

Our dreams are never wasted. God knows our hearts and what we want for our lives. Keep seeking Him and HIS heart. HIS plan is always right, even when we doubt.

Stay tuned to HIM

DREAMING OF NOW..

Now is all we are guaranteed. Not tomorrow. Not the next day.

ONLY NOW.

Live Now

live now ferris wheel2

Are you living now?

Or living in the future?

Or living in the past?

You can’t really LIVE if you are living in the past or in the future.

All we are guaranteed is today. Today is the only time God has given us. We have no ties to the past because we can’t change anything that has happened or anything that has been said. We can apologize and try to make amends, but in reality we can only live for today. Our past has no power to control us or our lives unless we give the past the power. Our lives are more than our past and more than our future.

God has placed a special plan and purpose into each of our lives, yet often we focus so much on “finding” that purpose, we forget to live in the present moment.

Moments where memories are lost. Moments  where we often forget to appreciate what we have and where we are in our lives. Maybe we aren’t exactly where we wish we were at this point in our lives, but by always focusing on the “greener” pastures, we forget that we have so much to be thankful for.

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It is time to live for me. After living a life so focused on my anxiety, fear and agoraphobia for over 15 years, I have decided that life is to be enjoyed. In the process of “finding” myself after being hidden for so long, I have realized that special moments are in every aspect of my life if I will take the time to look. In the small things such as a wet kiss on the nose from my dog, Penny to huge moments of having a big hug from my son Chance. Each moment means the world to me because for so long, I lived in a bubble of fear and anxiety. I didn’t take time to enjoy those special moments. Life just was plain overwhelming…

But today, I am in a better place, free from Fear. How about you? What are you doing to LIVE NOW?

Take the time to focus on the small and big moments. God gives us each day to live. Remember HE loved us and gave His only son to die for our sins. He wants you and I to really LIVE.

Deep Waters

Deep Waters1

The deep waters can overwhelm us, yet God is calling us to trust Him to cleanse us in the deep.

Deep waters

of

Pain, hurt, loss, joy, peace, fear, hope, uncertainty

YET

He is there even in the deep waters

The waters are for our healing and our benefit. Yet, it still hurts at times because of the refining of our lives.

Refining of our lives requires walking into the deep waters with Christ. It will not be fun, nor easy but in the end we will be better people.

We can then be healed, set free, happy and able to focus on the calling God has called us to do. Often the waters must be stepped into fully and deeply to find ourselves and the real YOU..

I know when God called me into the DEEP, it required a huge amount of trust because I had always lived in fear of the unknown. The waters of healing and freedom required an amount of trust in the Lord that I had never had to have before. Living with fear was easier than stepping into the waters with God.

I had trusted Jesus with my heart in 1977 yet life had many challenges from that point forward. The challenges kept me from living a full life, yet after walking into the deep waters with God, my life is happy, peaceful and free from fear. God’s healing touch was in the deep waters.

Today, don’t be afraid of stepping into the deep.

He is there waiting to refine, repair and restore.

Nothing is impossible with God. Matthew 19:26

Linking up

Simply Beth

Beauty in His Grip

My Daily Walk in  His Grace

Juana Mikels

Violet Imperfection

Women to Women

Choose to Believe

Choose to Believe

We all have choices to make each day.

Choices to believe

or not to believe

Choices whether to love or hate

Forgive or hold onto to unforgiveness

Grow or remain stagnant

Live or Die

Believe in God

or

Deny God

For me, many of these are easier than others. One that will never change will be to BELIEVE IN GOD. I have faced 3 suicides, a murder, abuse, neglect, car wrecks, anxiety, fear, agoraphobia, loss of jobs, friendships, as well as other tragedies, but through it all I have never stopped believing in God. My faith has been shaken but no denying God has stepped in more than once to protect, guide, and love me through it all.

Believe in God

Even when it is hard

Even when you want to give up

Lean into HIM

Praying for you today. Lean into HIM and HIS love for you. It is unconditional and full of peace if you trust HIM and HIS plan. HIS plan will always be best. Life happens but nothing is out of HIS control.

CHOOSE TO BELIEVE

Linking up with:

Simply Beth

My Daily Walk in His Grace

FREE: Follow up on my word for 2013

The end of last year, I made a choice to focus on the word FREE for the year of 2013.

Needless to say, the ride has been both exciting and nerve wracking at times.

God has done a tremendous work in a once fearful, anxious and also agoraphobic woman.

I still have many strides to make in this journey out of fear, but I am so very thankful for the place I am currently in.

Two years ago, I could not even ride in a vehicle without having full blown panic attacks and totally be in a state of fear. I also had not had a vacation out of town in over 10 years, but the last two years my family and I have traveled on four different trips. We have made memories, visited family and put the enemy in his place.

That has been the sweetest part:

Putting the enemy in his place

He has no power over me and my freedom any longer.

For years, I lived my life believing the fear would always be part of my life but God has totally healed me from the fear, anxiety and agoraphobia. I still have a few goals to meet in the new life I have now, but I know God will walk with me just as He has each day.

I look forward to the next step God has planned for me.

I am thankful for the freedom I currently have, yet I know with God all things are possible.

Thankful for being FREE

free cage

Free from:

Anxiety

Fear

Agoraphobia

Past Dysfunctional Relationships

Self-Hatred

Self-Doubt

Believing the Worst

Today I am THANKFUL