Journey to Freedom

I have been reading a great book called ” The Unburdened Heart” by Suzanne Eller.  The book is well written and offers very good insight on the subject of finding freedom to forgive.


This is a topic that I certainly needed to read at this point in my life. I have not always been a very good forgiver.. LOL.

How about you?

Do you struggle with forgiveness or does this come easily to you?

Suzanne offers some very valuable information throughout the book but one particular word she focused on really stuck with me.

The word is aphiemi which means to:

1. Send away

2. to let it die

3. to exchange for something else

4. to give up a debt

5. to forgive.

Suzanne discusses how when we use this word in relation to forgiveness it means we leave anger to find joy.

This is how I have felt much of the last two years. For most of my life I had held onto such anger and unforgiveness due to the way my biological family had always treated me and my family. I knew from as early as 4 or 5 years old that I was not really wanted. My parents had always made this very clear in the way I was treated but also the words spoken. Of course, this led to years of feeling so unworthy in every way and having no self-confidence. Relationships were damaged because how can you love someone else when you have no idea how to love yourself. You certainly have no capability of allowing another person to truly love you because they don’t know the real “you” like your biological family does. This was the cycle I found myself in for years and year.

I would try to be a good wife, mother and friend but I really had no clue as how to make that happen. I knew that I loved my children and husband, but until I came to accept the fact that God loved me for ME, then I would never be able to love my children or husband properly either. This was the constant battle because I heard from my parents and siblings over and over for 40 years how crazy I was because of the anxiety and panic attacks, but also how big a mistakes I was in general. I didn’t see myself as a mistake but I always believed what was spoken over me and my life. Evil and malicious words were the normal part of those relationships, so that is what I believed.

My relationships struggled because I didn’t see myself as anyone of value. How could anyone else love me when my own parents and siblings didn’t?

This was the inward struggle. Yet, after reading Suzanne’s book I have come to understand that by the neglect and abandonment of my family repeatedly over my lifetime, I had no way of having a clear view or understanding of God and HIS love for me. It distorted everything I did or didn’t do. Nothing was clear because my view of God was unclear. Until that became clear, no other relationships would work nor would I find the freedom to be myself.

The two are connected

and there is no separating them.

Without our view of God being correct, our lives will constantly spin out of control and all of our relationships will suffer.

The past two years I have learned more about myself than I had the previous 44 years.

One thing I have learned is that God loves me, designed me and has a great plan for my life.
Without Him in my life, I am nothing.

I am thankful that my heart is becoming more and more free from un-forgiveness and finding happiness to the fullest.

Isn’t God good?

I am thankful that God did not give up on me even when I gave up on myself.

I would highly recommend this book by Suzanne Eller.

New Dreams

tree tunnel2

As a child, I loved to write in my journal or diary all of the dreams I had for myself and my life.

Some of them have been achieved, yet over time God has given me new dreams to achieve.

I always dreamed as a child of being a wife and mother, which has come true. As a child, I never really dreamed of being a grandmother, but I am also one of those as well. Life is pretty sweet.

The biggest dream I had as a child was to be a writer. My life revolved around writing whether it be in a diary or studying the encyclopedia’s as I made notations of interesting facts, the writing with pen and paper has always been part of my heart. The joy I felt as a child having the written words from my heart on a piece of paper..

Oh the joy of the written word. I still feel that way 40 years later.

My heart is full when I see that what I write helps someone else, even in a small way.

We are looking forward to a new year. It is hard to believe that we are going to be headed into 2014. Where has the time gone?

Today, I want to offer you hope that this new year is a clean slate to reach for new dreams. Reach to the sky and seek the fullest life you can ever dream of. Life can be a blast. The dreams we have in our hearts are put there from our God.

Remember the dreams of past years but also reach for new dreams.

Let me pray for you today:

Lord, help us to reach for the stars. Nothing is out of reach with you walking beside us and guiding us on the journey of life. Today, Lord reignite the fire within us for the dreams that have fallen away but also help us to reach for new dreams in the new year. Lord, thank You for all that you have done for each of us in 2013. I stand in awe of all the amazing life changes You have done in my life personally. I am looking forward to 2014 and the amazing doors that You are going to open for me.

Coming Soon:

January 10th 2014

Stay Tuned

Epic Grace: Chronicles by a Recovering Idiot by Kurt Bubna

This summer I have had the privilege of being part of the book launch team for Kurt W. Bubna called ” Epic Grace: Chronicles of a Recovering Idiot.

Don’t you love that title?

When I was asked to participate, of course I was thrilled to be part of such a great project. I didn’t know much about the book other than Kurt won the award at the Re:Write Conference in 2012 for this book.

Kurt and I are Facebook friends, but we have never met face to face. One day, maybe that will be possible.

Kurt has a gift for words whether he is writing or preaching in his home church. Words are powerful, which is something Kurt discusses in Epic Grace.

Whether we fall short in the words we use, the pain we cause someone else or even ourselves, all require grace.

One of the quotes in the book that really stuck with me was ” .. we need God’s grace to sustain us in the midst of our struggles.”  Wow. So true.

Kurt discusses in the book how adversity and suffering are always connected to grace. Without grace, even when we are “idiots”, God is still there calling us to persevere. Grace helps us walk through the pain of hardships, being wounded or struggling with life in general.

Kurt holds the light on each of us to live with  grace in mind, no matter what we are facing. Sin and grace are connected but grace is offered to believers in all walks of the Christian life.

I went into the book launch team not knowing what I would get out of the book, but I know I reread the book again.

The book came at just the right time in my own life for I have been on a journey  for the past year that I never knew I was capable of walking through. After years of living with fear, anxiety and agoraphobia, God has set me free. EPIC GRACE… after 47 years…

God has a huge plan for each one of us, and through this book you will be given such great words of encouragement to find EPIC GRACE in your own walk.


Each chapter touched me in a deep place. I know the book will do the same for you as well.

Check it out at Barnes and Noble, Amazon or Christian Book Distributors.


kurt book



Limitless by Nick Vujicic

As a devotional, Nick reaches down into the power of God by allowing the reader to dig deep into the power of not giving up. Nick shares his story through the small devotionals and through his words we can then see that with God all things are possible. Nick has never allowed his disability to stop him from achieving his dreams and the purpose God designed him for. This is a small book of about 163 pages, but it so worth the time it takes to read it each day. I would highly recommend this book.

Three Great Giveaways

Today I am offering you a chance to win three great journal/notebooks.. Just read the blog post and leave a comment for a chance to win.. It is always so much to give but also great to win something as well. Today, I want to bless someone else. Good Luck…

journal pic giveaway

I am offering a journal with the Scripture verse Jeremiah 29: 11 on it. This is an awesome journal. Inside it has a side column where you color in the circle for the date, month and year. Then it has lined pages and is of great quality.

I am also offering a chance to win another small journal/notebook by StudioOH. It is beautifully designed and has flowers and the word Create on the front cover.

I am also offering you a chance to win the green journal/notebook designed by It has small birds on the front cover as well as the quote ” Show me a day when the world wasn’t new.”

Any of these would make an awesome gift for yourself or someone you want to bless.

I am a great lover of words and I have always journaled. I pray that you will take the time to leave a comment and also which item you want if you win.

I don’t have a rafflecopter link on my site, so I will take the name of comments and put them in a hat. My husband will draw the three winners.

I hope to hear some great comments about the journals you write in or other ideas of where and how you organize your thoughts. Writing our thoughts, dreams and ideas down often gives us the power to succeed at what we set out to do because we have a record on paper.

Let me know what you think about these journals? I think they are so cute and will be such a blessing to whoever wins..