This song resonates with me and the real shaking my family is currently facing.
I have faced spiritual battles before in my own life; especially when it has come to my bondage and stronghold to fear, anxiety and agoraphobia. Yet, this battle is even more…
More loss involved.
More on the line.
Lives. Families. Relationships. Sin. Eternal.
The song by Sara Groves has really spoke to my heart lately.
Life was comfortable before because I knew what the day was going to hold. I knew that I would be fearful, anxious and panic stricken in most every part of the day. The life I am living now is more uncomfortable, especially in the present day of such a spiritual attack on my life and the lives of those I love.
Yet, I know the past is closed off to me.
The past is so tangible. I know it by heart. Such powerful words from the song.. Oh, they speak to me. I knew the past by heart.
Familiar things are hard to discard. Oh My.. Yes.
I lived in such a path of darkness for so long. My eyes were covered by fear. I felt I had no value to anyone. The ones that I so desperately wanted to love me, totally abandoned me and left me feeling worthless. Even though the familiar was unhappy, damaging and not the best God had for me, I stayed stuck.
Stuck because I didn’t feel worthy of any other life.
I was painting pictures of Egypt but none were coming true. The past had such a hold, yet the future seemed unattainable. I was stuck in the middle. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
I so desperately wanted to go, yet I hesitated. Fear continued to hold me back.
I was caught between the PROMISE and the things I knew.
One of the verses in this song says, ” But the places that used to fit me, cannot hold the things I have learned. ”
I cannot explain how this song has spoke to my heart. Life changing.
Did someone tell Sara Groves my story because it seems that this song was written just for me.
I so desperately wanted freedom from the past abuse, neglect, fear, anxiety and agoraphobia, but I saw no solution. Yet, God had bigger plans.
He set me free from anxiety, fear and agoraphobia in August 2012. After 40 years of living with this I am now free. Free to travel. Free to drive alone. Free to be happy, whole and ANGIE.
The timing was right for the Lord to heal me.
The song says, ” If it comes too quick I may not recognize it. ”
If God had done this tremendous work in my life 8 years ago, would I have been ready? Would I be in the place I am with my ministry? Would I be in a place where freedom would truly be mine?
I am not so sure. His timing was right, just as it always is.
Yesterday I fasted, prayed and sought the Word and will of the Lord for the shaking and attack my family is currently under. So much pain. So many unanswered questions.
Yet, even when the shaking continues..
I will not let the enemy win and I certainly will not go back to the past life I once lived. I have come too far.
Prayer for you and me:
Lord, today I want to thank you for the many blessings you have bestowed on me and my family. I ask that you do the same for the reader. Help them to feel your love and your powerful healing touch for whatever they may be facing. Life is hard, yet we are over-comers with you on our side. Nothing can break the love you have for us as believers. We stand connected with you and the armies of angels surrounding us. Even when life feels like it is so painful, we continue to trust and believe in your better plan. We don’t see what you are doing behind the scenes, but you know the perfect time and place to have all the pieces fit together. Lord, help us to continue to trust, love and accept. Acceptance does not mean we are happy, but it does mean we know you are faithful to perfect all that concerns us and our loved ones. Lord, watch over and protect my family. We know the restoration, love and healing is possible. One day, I hope to be able to tell the full story of the restoring power of JESUS.
Linking up with :
More To Be
Little By Little