Do you believe in miracles?
Have you ever personally experienced a miracle?
How would you define a miracle?
Dictionary.com defines it as follows:
Do you believe in miracles?
Have you ever personally experienced a miracle?
How would you define a miracle?
Dictionary.com defines it as follows:
Our lives require “Fixing” at times but thankfully, God has “fixed” us from the moment we accepted Jesus Christ into our hearts.
Different Kinds of Fix:
1. To Repair: To take something broken and fix it
But thankfully, God doesn’t repair, He renews:
a. 2 Corinthians 5:17- I am not a repaired (fixed) creation. I am a new creation in Christ.
b. Romans 12:2- God doesn’t repair (fix) my mind. He renews my mind.
c. Isaiah 40:31- God doesn’t repair (fix) my strength. He renews my strength.
d. Psalm 51: 10- God doesn’t repair (fix) my spirit. He renews my spirit.
e. Ephesians 3:15- God doesn’t repair (fix) my family. He gives me a new family.
When we become a follower of Jesus Christ, God has a clean slate to work with. We no longer must be taunted by our past. Our past is hidden under the blood of Jesus Christ and He does not have to FIX us any longer. We, of course, are human beings that will fall short of the glory of God, but GODS love for us will never fail. He will not dismiss our shortcoming but He also will not beat us up over and over about our sinful nature. He understands us because HE designed us exactly the way we are.
We fall short but that doesn’t mean we are a failure.
God loves us with an unconditional love that no other human being is capable of loving us like. We are a new creation with Christ living inside of us. Stand strong and believe that He is doing a continual work in your life. “FIXING” the small and the big issues in your life and in your heart.
For the next few weeks, I want to focus on the Psalm 57. I believe we can glean much from the verses within this portion of the Bible. Gods Word has so much information within it if we only take the time to study it.
Let us work on Gettin’ Fixed with God
I hope you will join me for the next several blog posts.
I think you and I will both learn some great information from this portion of the Psalm.
Looking forward to learning with you. Check back
P. J. Di Bendetto
Life can get so hectic and busy that I can forget to enjoy this life that God has given me.
I seem to struggle with OCD on some levels; especially when it comes to my house being clean and tidy. I can become obsessed with trying to make everything look “perfect” yet there is no perfection in this life.
My husband has to remind me often, ” We have to live here Angie.”
I forget that this home and my precious family are the ministries that God has given me to take care of today. I am to walk with a sense of loving those HE has blessed me with in this life, all the while remembering that life is fleeting and I am not promised tomorrow with any of the ones I love.
I need to be reminded that life is about NOW; not tomorrow. I struggle with taking time to remember the precious gifts I have been given in this life such as:
My husband of 30 years, Mike
My children and grandchildren
My dogs; especially my Penny and Roscoe (my buddies)
The books I have to read for enjoyment or to obtain knowledge about a particular subject.
The crafts I have the freedom and supplies to make
The friendships I am lucky enough to have: C. F and R. C and B. H and J.H. and P. B and B. S. and many others that I have made through Facebook and my website.
I am thankful that God allows us to see the beauty in the small things, all the while allowing the huge parts of life to change me and to make me a better person, wife, mother and Christian.
Life impact us both in the small as well as the big.
Whether it is a small flower, a child smiling or a hug from someone who loves you;
God’s Beauty Surrounds Me
Thankful for my family and God’s blessings; big and small
To some, this next sentence will not make any sense but then there are those that will totally understand.
Walls are a way to protect myself from being hurt but also erected in an effort to protect you from me…
As a child and then later as an adult, I never fully trusted anyone but I most certainly did not trust myself.
How could I trust an individual that has been told all of her life that she was screwed up, messed up, nothing, worthless and pretty much not worth any type of love or acceptance?
That is the situation I found myself in from a very early age.. Not trusting anyone else other than a few certain adults that always provided unconditional love. Other than that; TRUST was a no-no.. I certainly didn’t trust others but I didn’t trust myself either.
Such began a life of trying to control the situations I found myself in and around, which then led to more and more anxiety because the world and life cannot be controlled. No matter how hard I tried; it just didn’t happen. I would try to be a good, little girl and I thought I was but then the one day that I wasn’t walking on eggshells around my family, that was the day once again I was told that I was just a waste and a nothing. So then began the walking on eggshells again in an effort of trying to please.. It would go along fine for a bit and then wham… Failure again. The straight A student just couldn’t do enough to please my parents… I would try and try but it just never happened.
More and more anxiety, fear and agoraphobia developed. I can sense now that even as early as 9 or 10 years old I suffered with some agoraphobia, yet it like all the other problems I carried around went undiagnosed and untreated.
Trust was not an option for me with anyone; especially myself.
This is when the problem began because if I was such a failure at life in general how was I going to be a good wife, mom and employee….
I always felt like I had to have someone to fall back on in situations that I felt unsure about or anxious about because this was certainly an area that I knew I was not prepared to handle.
Yet, over the last year; after 47 years of life…. I have decided that God has not called a weak, unstable, fearful, anxious woman to tell my story. He has called a powerful, forgiven, loved, confident woman that has a powerful story of healing to tell others.
If I hide what God has done for me and in my own life; then my story is wasted..
God deserves so much praise for all He has done in my life in the last 11 months. A year ago tomorrow was the night that God really began doing a major work on my life and in the area of healing me from anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia.
To be continued:
I will be speaking tonight at a conference called Beautiful Women in Levelland Texas. It will be a powerful service and this is God’s plan for me at this time. The doors have opened so I will now go through them.
Do you ever question what you are here on earth to do?
I know I have wondered that more often than I care to admit, but I have decided that I must live in the here and now all the while trying to find my calling from God..
Yet, when we question what God has called then we are basically saying that God has made a mistake and messed up when He called us to the assignment we have..
Whether that is:
being a mom
being a hard worker at the job I have
being a prayer warrior
cleaning someone else’s home
being an author or blogger
leading a church as a pastor or youth minister
driving a school bus
working at a daycare
If we are questioning our current assignment then God will not call us to any other assignment. We will stay exactly where we are at in this time and place.. Nothing will change. We will stay frustrated, upset and wondering why nothing changes.
Our hearts must change first
and then God will direct us onto the next assignment or open doors to open in our current place of assignment.
Your assignment will always cause other to succeed and your assignment will always require you to go places you never dreamed of going. DREAM BIG
Your assignment will cause you to be celebrated; not tolerated. Luke 9:5
Your assignment will require wisdom.
Wisdom is obtained in two ways:
Wisdom is not something we are born with and nor are we born qualified for our assignment. There will be bumps in the road and bruises along the way, yet that does not mean we stop striving to fulfill the God ordained assignment God has given us to do in this life.
WE ONLY LIVE ONCE, SO MAKE IT A GOOD ONE
Our assignment is something only we can accomplish.
Our assignment will require us to solve problems only we can solve.
Our assignment will require us to help others only we can help.
Our assignment will require us to be love to someone else that maybe no one else acknowledges.
Our assignment will require PAIN, PASSION and PURPOSE.
Lord, today I want to offer hope for those wondering exactly what their purpose is for today. You know our hearts and you also know our desire to be worthy of your call on our lives. Help us today to not waste the time we have remaining and also do not let us lose hope in the call you have on our lives. We all have a purpose and an assignment from you. Let us stay strong and finish well.. We must stay focused and faithful in the small.. Lord, help me to remember that I am not where I used to be but I am also not where I want to be. Thank You for the wonderful gifts you have provided for my family in the last year on all levels. We are praising You. Thankful..
THIS IS MY GRANDMA, NEENIE AND SOME OF HER OIL PAINTINGS.
If you are like me, I often just sit back and wonder why my God is so good to me.. I don’t feel worthy and I am certainly not doing anything of great value in this life, yet for some unknown reason, He continues to bless me over and over..
I stay in awe of the power of God in my life especially when I look back at the way my life began and the tragedies I have faced through losses due to several family members suicides as well as the murder of my grandmother; I often wonder how I have the life I live now..
Each day the loss of my family members and especially my grandmother, Neenie is always there. She and I had a special relationship. She was a unique individual and a grandmother that few had the privilige of knowing, but through Gods grace and mercy He knew that I needed this wonderful woman in my life to help me through the abuse and anxiety as well as the rejection I faced as a child. Without my grandmother I would not know the Lord. Without my grandmother I certainly would not be a walking testament of the power of the Lord in my life because I believe I would have made another choice to go down another path in life to escape the painful home life I encountered day after day. I was told once by a counselor/therapist that I was lucky that I had not ended up as a prostitute, drug addict or alcoholic due to the extreme circumstances I faced as a child and young adult.
I KNOW THAT I AM NOT IN THAT PLACE BECAUSE I HAD A PRAYING GRANDMOTHER AND A POWERFUL GOD that saw something in me that I certainly never felt at home from my parents or siblings. For that, I am forever thankful.
I miss my grandmother because I know she would love getting to see the way my life is unfolding and how I have grown in my walk with the Lord. I know she would be thrilled to have the opportunity to know my sons as adult men with their own lives and children, yet that was not in the cards for our family. It breaks my heart to know that my children did not get the opportunity to know this Godly woman who made such a difference in my own life, yet I hope by the way I live my life and the memories I share with my two sons, they have a small glimpse in to the power of one person in someones life as well as the power of ALMIGHTY GOD.
I truly believe that God has used my past to help others struggling with fear, anxiety, agoraphobia as well as horrific tragedies, but that will never take away the pain of loss. Yet, thankfully over time the pain diminishes and the memories grow sweeter instead of only being painful, but the loss will always be a part of my story. Tragedy changes a person and it certainly has the capability to make the person more thankful for those we love and the time we share, but often it makes the person only bitter, angry and resentful.
I was bitter at one point after such deep losses in a period of 6 years, but through much time, prayer, counseling and love, the pain, bitterness and anger is gone. I know that without trials, loss and often pain, God cannot work in our lives. According to Romans 8:28, God can use everything for His glory if we allow Him to take the reins. Giving up control has been the most difficult for me personally because I am very much a TYPE A personality but each day when I look at my life and the love that I have with my husband and children, I am thankful even for the pain I have felt and the loss I have suffered. Each day I feel…. WOW, this is my life.
I am married to the love of my life for 30 years; since he was 16 and I was 18 years old. I get to write about my life and lessons I am learning. I have the opportunity to connect with other great authors, bloggers and FB friends. Both hubby and I are healthy and happy. Our children are making their own paths and finding their own way. Life is good and for that I am forever thankful.
I am just an UNWORHTY WOMAN WITH A POWERFUL GOD…
This peace and purpose is available to all who call on the name of the Lord and ask Him to come live inside their hearts while confessing all of their sins. God offers forgiveness freely and holds no grudges. He remembers our sins no more after we confess them to Him. Today, God wants to connect with you and have a relationship that only You and He can have. It is easy. Just speak from your heart.. God Bless.
With God on our side; WE AlWAYS WIN… I WIN AND YOU WIN..
Secrets are damaging.
I know this from experience.
Growing up in an abusive, neglectful, angry home with very domineering parents, secrets were a normal part of my life.
I still struggle at the age of 47 years old of really knowing the truth about many things that happened in my life.
When you live in fear everyday of your childhood and young adult life, normal is a relative term. Normal is what you live everyday. Keeping secrets about what happens in your home is what you are taught and what you “better do” if you know what is good for you.. This was my life.
Outside of the home, everyone thought my parents were the greatest. Perfect parents. Perfect home. Perfect children.. Oh, yeah.. Not so perfect Angie somehow made it into this “perfect” family.. How did that happen? I asked myself that question almost everyday for 46 years.. Was I really as bad as they said? What was wrong with me to get treated so horribly? Did God make a mistake when He created me? Why did my siblings get treated so differently and why did they not see our home life the way I did and do??
For 46 years I have carried the secrets of my childhood close to my heart. Only a select few have known the heartache of the past. Only a select few have I trusted enough to open my heart up and lay it out for others to see. Yet, at times, those same few I have put my faith and hope in to trust with such intimate details, have later used that information against me. Trust is not easy for a child, teenager, young adult or adult that has suffered abuse, neglect, as well as total rejection for just being themselves. Trust for me is a long road. I don’t lay my heart on the line very often and not easily, so when trust is broken, it is broken for good..
Growing up with secrets of my home life has followed me around for 46 years just waiting for me to open the door and let God take that pain and heal it.
Well, over the last 2 years I have worked very hard to heal from the pain of rejection, abuse, neglect, control, hate and just about anything else you could come up with… My parents and siblings have called me every kind of name in the book all of my life. I have lived under a dark cloud of believing that I was NOTHING;… NADA.. POO… Yet, God opened my eyes just recently to the power of darkness in my families minds, hearts and definetely their souls.
After I met with my only living parent a few weeks ago, I could feel the evilness when she walked into the counselors office. From the first words that came out of her mouth, the counselor could sense it as well. Sad for her but also offered me the final connection to my family to be severed totally. Nothing nice came out of her mouth about me and basically she said what she has said about me for 46 years in an hour long session.
I have lived my life beating myself up, wondering what was wrong with me. Yet, God revealed that nothing was or is wrong with me.. I am just as He created. I know that I have lost myself in this journey many times but thankfully, my eyes have opened and reality has set in. Only God can restore, repair and rejuvinate my relationships with my biological family.
I cannot change their opinion of me or stop their evil ways or words. Yet, God can and will hold them accountable for every evil word spoken and every evil deed done. I may or may not see in my lifetime any of this happen, but whether I do or not, I am FREE from the past and all of the power it has had in my life.
I am still walking a journey on many other levels through the anxiety, agoraphobia and fear, as well as losses of family to suicide and murder but I know that God is walking with me on the rest of the journey. It has not always been a Joyful Journey but I know the end will definetly be better than the beginning.
God calls out the hidden into the light according to 1 Corinthians 4:5. I am waiting for the hidden to be revealed. God knows what is best and He knows what is best for me.. I am staying hidden under the shadow of His wings. He covers me with His protection if I will be faithful and stay where I am called to stay.
I pray for you today that whatever secrets have kept you bound, that they will fall away with God and His power. Stay under the shadow of God’s protection and He will guide you to the place you are called to be. Let the rejection,fear, anger, hate or discouragment fall away. Look to God for your acceptace. THe world may not accept you, but God loves you and sent His son to die on the cross for you.. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THE SPARROWS. HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER THINK OR IMAGINE.
IN THIS LIFE….I WIN AND SO DO YOU IF YOU BELIEVE ON THE SAVING POWER OF JESUS CHRIST. STAY STRONG…
My past contines to try to hold me hostage, yet I know that God has a bigger plan for me than to live in the past. Regret, loss, tragedy, as well as abuse have been my life for so many years, the new journey of happiness, love, hope, healing and peace is unfamiliar, yet each day that I move forward the shadows of the past fade away more easily.
The shadows are there, trying to blot out the sun (SON) that has continued to be my constant companion through this journey of life. Life that has been filled with darkness is often such a familiar place that the sunshine seems like we are being (unfaithful) to our call on our lives. For me, I have felt unworthy of love, peace, promise and healing because my childhood and young adult life led me to believe that I was not worth having that in my life. I knew that Jesus died on the cross to save me, yet I doubted on an almost daily basis if I was really worthy of saving.
I felt bad when I felt good…. I felt bad and dishonest for being happy. I so wanted to live like others I saw that were continually happy and enjoyed their lives, yet for most of my life that has eluded me. I knew it was possible, but I just perceived that I was not one of the “CHOSEN” … God missed me when that was handed out because I had never experienced happiness, joy or peace.
Now, let me go on to say this: The above statements do not mean that I have not felt happiness and love in my life on some levels with my husband and children, but I knew in my heart that I was still missing so much more in my life that I could see others enjoy in their own. I have had a wonderful life with my husband and children, yet the peace of God was often lacking in many areas when it came to my healing from anxiety, fear, panic attacks, abuse, neglect and agroraphobia.
God had a plan for me to reach up and take His hand and hold on for dear life, but often I would take hold of His hand for a short time and let go again because my healing did not come the way I wanted. I would go around and around trying to get the shadows of my past to let me go, but now I have figured out that I am the one that repeatedly would not let God have the shadows of my past totally. I would hold on to bits and pieces because I did not feel worthy of total healing and His total love. This comes from the PTSD and Stockholm Syndrome I have been diagnosed with all of my life. Both of these diagnosis kept me bound to my past, yet all I wanted was freedom.
This past month I have had to deal with some very disheartening aspects of my relationship with my only living parent, but through that experience I have come to the realization that I must move foward and that I cannot let what my parents or siblings spoke over me as a child and adult change who God has called me to be in this world. In this world we will have tribulation but I am thankful that God has overcome. John 16:33.
Personally, I know my story resonates with more than I originally thought when I began my ministry. I knew of a few other women that had previously sufered with anxiety and agoraphobia, but over time I have learned that this problem affects so many more than I had originally thought. Through my story and writing of my path to healing, all I have ever wanted was to let others know that the only way to overcome anything in this world; whether anxiety, agoraphobia or any other struggle, is with God on your side because HE HAS OVERCOME THE WORLD. Be faithful in your walk, continue to seek His face and put one foot in front of the other because THE SHADOWS OF YOUR PAST WILL FADE AWAY the more you are obedient to God and STEP OUT..
LORD, TODAY I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR OPENING MY EYES TO SO MANY THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN HIDDEN IN MY HEART AND SOUL FOR FAR TOO LONG. EACH DAY THAT I WALK THIS JOURNEY, YOU REVEAL MUCH MORE TO ME THAT I NEED TO CHANGE IN MY OWN THINKING. I AM THANKFUL THAT I HAVE MADE SO MUCH PROGRESS IN THIS LAST TWO YEARS BUT I AM SO VERY EXCITED FOR THE UPCOMING PHENONMENAL THINGS YOU ARE GOING TO DO IN MY LIFE AND THROUGH THE SHARING OF MY STORY. I SEE GREAT OPPORTUNITIES OPENING UP WITH YOU ON MY SIDE… THANK YOU LORD FOR ALL YOU ARE DOING AND HAVE DONE.
This week has been difficult for me and my family, so I am glad it is over. How about you? Did you have a good week or a week that you are glad is over as well?
Reading the scriptures today, I ran across a verse in the Message translation that I just love.
Psalm 73: 1-3, ” No doubt about it!! God is good- good to good people, good to the good-hearted. But I nearly missed it, missed seeing his goodness. I was looking the other way, looking up to the people at the top, envying the wicked who have it made, who have nothing to worry about, not a care in the whole wide world. ”
Living in today’s world is not easy at times but I am thankful that He loves me and is good to good people, even when we feel that the evil and wicked are moving ahead in life. This verse gives me comfort in knowing that God will vindicate me and my family even when it seems as though the “evil” are prospering. God is bigger than the enemy and even when the world has blinded those we love to the pain and hurt they have inflicted, God will stand beside us and bring us to the ultimate victory.
Pain and hurt have been such a part of my life that I really just get overwhelmed and want to give up. But I know that my God has brought me out of such a dark place in the past and once again He can move mountains if I seek His face and call out to Him in my times of need. Maybe today it will not be resolved but even though I do not understand what is going on within my extended family, I know that my God will RESTORE in HIS TIME… God gave me the word for 2013 of RESTORE, so that is what I am holding onto at this time.
My defintion of restore may not be the same as what God sees for the word RESTORE in my life. I am praying for HIS will; not my will be done.
My prayer for restore:
Restore family relationships
Restore health and healing
Restore peace and prosperity for Mike, Angie and Chance
Restore God’s plan for me and my life
Restore Angie to who she has been called to be.
Restore ….. I am praying for God to be good to good-hearted people, even when those who are evil and wicked have it made.. That is ME, LORD.. I want you to be good to this good-hearted follower and for my son and husband as well.
Today, be brave. Be bold. Be YOU… Love and hugs to you all..