secrets

Scars Are Beautiful

Scars make us or break us.

Scars can change our outward appearance or change the deep recesses of our inner being, but regardless of the place the scars take place, God can and will provide healing if we reach out to HIM.

Scars have made me who I am today on many levels.

Scars from the pain of my childhood as well the wonderful benefits my childhood held. My childhood was not all bad or damaging, but sometimes the pain overrode the good.

Scars from life…

Scars from tragedies that have followed my family. ( Multiple suicides and the murder of my grandmother)

Scars from anxiety, overwhelming fear and eventual agoraphobia.

Can you relate?

I also have scars on my body from surgeries, accidents and just dumb mistakes that have changed my outward appearance.  Still, I  have to remember  even though I am not perfect physically, God still calls me beautiful. He doesn’t see the scars as negatives, but HE sees them as a positive because He knows those experiences taught me lessons I could not have learned any other way.

 

 

Scars make us into the people we are today; whether we want them to or not. Life can be tough and often we get beat up in the process of learning lessons and fighting the battles we must face.

Battles of everyday life but also the battles to overcome the damage others have inflicted upon us.

Yet, God never leaves us in the state of damage if seek HIM and HIS will for our lives.

We can and will overcome. Nothing is impossible with God.

For with God nothing will be impossible. Luke 1:37

Today, I want to offer you hope. God can use whatever path you have walked in this life; whether easy or tough. He wants to use your story to help someone else facing the same thing in their own life. If you keep quiet, who benefits from the losses you have faced?

The enemy. The old devil. The evil one. Whatever you want to call him. He wins when we keep quiet.

He is so happy when we keep quiet. He sits back and watches us while we continue to be ashamed, discouraged and stuck in our past.

Stand up today and face the past scars, all the while remembering that God can and will use your story.

I will not allow the enemy to steal anymore of my life. I lived a life full of fear, anxiety and agoraphobia for over 30 years. My life has been a small fragment of what I know God intended for it to be, so from this day forward:

MY SCARS ARE FOR GOD’S GLORY.

Lord, I ask for you to reach down today and help those struggling with issues from their past or pain inflicted from someone else. Those scars are so deep into our souls at times we often don’t even know who we are anymore. We only see ourselves through the lens of our scars, yet YOU designed us to live beyond the pain of this life. You want us to live abundant, joyful lives according to your Word. John 10:10 ( I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.) God has promised in HIS Word that HE can do more than we can think or imagine. Nothing is beyond HIS control or repair..  Ephesians 3: 20 (God can do anything, you know – far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.) MSG translation

Life is tough but as God’s children; we are tougher. I want to give you hope today that you can overcome whatever trials, fears, struggles, hurt or pain you are facing. God has done it for me in my own life and I know if HE can do it for me, then HE can do it for you as well.

Sending love and prayers your way today.

 

I WIN and YOU WIN 

 

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Shhh… It Is A Secret !!!

secret word

Secrets are damaging.

I know this from experience.

Growing up in an abusive, neglectful, angry home with very domineering parents, secrets were a normal part of my life.

I still struggle at the age of 47 years old of really knowing the truth about many things that happened in my life.

When you live in fear everyday of your childhood and young adult life, normal is a relative term. Normal is what you live everyday. Keeping secrets about what happens in your home is what you are taught and what you “better do” if you know what is good for you.. This was my life.

Outside of the home, everyone thought my parents were the greatest. Perfect parents. Perfect home. Perfect children.. Oh, yeah.. Not so perfect Angie somehow made it into this “perfect” family.. How did that happen? I asked myself that question almost everyday for 46 years.. Was I really as bad as they said? What was wrong with me to get treated so horribly? Did God make a mistake when He created me? Why did my siblings get treated so differently and why did they not see our home life the way I did and do??

For 46 years I have carried the secrets of my childhood close to my heart. Only a select few have known the heartache of the past. Only a select few have I trusted enough to open my heart up and lay it out for others to see. Yet, at times, those same few I have put my faith and hope in to trust with such intimate details, have later used that information against me. Trust is not easy for a child, teenager, young adult or adult that has suffered abuse, neglect, as well as total rejection for just being themselves. Trust for me is a long road. I don’t lay my heart on the line very often and not easily, so when trust is broken, it is broken for good..

Growing up with secrets of my home life has followed me around for 46 years just waiting for me to open the door and let God take that pain and heal it.

Well, over the last 2 years I have worked very hard to heal from the pain of rejection, abuse, neglect, control, hate and just about anything else you could come up with… My parents and siblings have called me every kind of name in the book all of my life. I have lived under a dark cloud of believing that I was NOTHING;… NADA.. POO… Yet, God opened my eyes just recently to the power of darkness in my families minds, hearts and definetely their souls.

After I met with my only living parent a few weeks ago, I could feel the evilness when she walked into the counselors office. From the first words that came out of her mouth, the counselor could sense it as well. Sad for her but also offered me the final connection to my family to be severed totally. Nothing nice came out of her mouth about me and basically she said what she has said about me for 46 years in an hour long session.

I have lived my life beating myself up, wondering what was wrong with me. Yet, God revealed that nothing was or is wrong with me.. I am just as He created. I know that I have lost myself in this journey many times but thankfully, my eyes have opened and reality has set in. Only God can restore, repair and rejuvinate my relationships with my biological family.

I cannot change their opinion of me or stop their evil ways or words. Yet, God can and will hold them accountable for every evil word spoken and every evil deed done. I may or may not see in my lifetime any of this happen, but whether I do or not, I am FREE from the past and all of the power it has had in my life.

I am still walking a journey on many other levels through the anxiety, agoraphobia and fear, as well as losses of family to suicide and murder but I know that God is walking with me on the rest of the journey. It has not always been a Joyful Journey but I know the end will definetly be better than the beginning.

God calls out the hidden into the light according to 1 Corinthians 4:5. I am waiting for the hidden to be revealed. God knows what is best and He knows what is best for me.. I am staying hidden under the shadow of His wings. He covers me with His protection if I will be faithful and stay where I am called to stay.

I pray for you today that whatever secrets have kept you bound, that they will fall away with God and His power. Stay under the shadow of God’s protection and He will guide you to the place you are called to be. Let the rejection,fear, anger, hate or discouragment fall away. Look to God for your acceptace. THe world may not accept you, but God loves you and sent His son to die on the cross for you.. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THE SPARROWS. HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER THINK OR IMAGINE.

IN THIS LIFE….I WIN AND SO DO YOU IF YOU BELIEVE ON THE SAVING POWER OF JESUS CHRIST. STAY STRONG…