Thoughts

Keep Walking

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Photo Credit:

P. J. Di Benedetto

When we learned to walk as a baby, it was tough at times. We often fell down, cried or even through a fit, but over time we still learned to walk.

Our parents would offer us help and encouragement, but even that couldn’t teach us how to walk. Walking just basically required us “doing” the work to learn the process. One step at a time. Then one day we were walking more than a few step at a time and before long we were running with other children. Walking isn’t something we knew when we were born, but through trial and error, we eventually learned the steps to becoming more independent.

Now, when we think about the Christian walk. It is basically the same process. We don’t have any clue how to face the struggles life hands us, but over time we learn to use our faith even in the deepest pits of life. No life is a bowl of cherries. We all face hardships, difficulties and pain in this life;whether of our own doing or someone else’s. Life can hand us pain unimaginable at times. I know in my own life, I can certainly attest to that.

As a child I never knew how much pain I was carrying around because it seemed normal. Yet, over time the shoving the pain down began to manifest itself in the way of anxiety, fear, and eventually agoraphobia. This certainly was not the life I dreamed of as a child. Life became unbearable, yet I saw no way out. The roller coaster only intensified after the murder/suicide of my grandparents.

I am giving you that example because I can certainly relate to trials, pain and tragedies, yet over time I had to learn that my life wasn’t going to change unless I changed.

Changed my thoughts

Changed how I let the past control me

Changed relationships and the power they held

Began to trust and believe in myself

I can never change the pain of the past, the loss of loved ones to horrible tragedies, but I have learned that I must

Keep Walking

Even when it is hard

Even when the path is unclear

Even when the naysayers are loud

Even when the end seems so far away

Nothing in life is easy and usually the sweetest accomplishments are the hardest fought.

Praying for you today to feel God’s love and His peace. He has a wonderful plan for you. Love to each of you.

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Happy Is, Happy Does

happy face

The above is my new motto..

After 47 years, I finally am finding ME: ANGIE
Isn’t that crazy to think that all of my life I have felt like I was missing out on life, yet that is really how I have felt..

I was talking to my uncle a few days ago to see if he had received the family pictures I had mailed him.. He was so shocked to see them because he has not seen me in person for almost 9 months. In that nine months I have changed so much with God’s help..

I know that God has slowly been redeeming my life;

healing the past
moving forward
accepting myself
believing I am worthy
loving my life; changes and all

When I talked on the phone to my uncle, he said that he could not believe the changes in my face, my smile and the way my eyes sparkle..

I guess I have looked at myself in the mirror for so long, I don’t notice the changes like others do..

I believe that God has called me to step out of the past and move forward, yet often that can cause others to think that you are leaving them behind. My life is on a different level than it was even 9 months ago, yet often that moving forward means we have to make decisions in relationships that are difficult, set new goals and require more of others as well as ourselves.

I am not willing to go backwards..
ONLY FORWARD

My new mantra is HAPPY IS, HAPPY DOES

Happiness: I am not accustomed to this.. It is strange to be happy..

Isn’t that sad to say??

Growing up, I had times of happiness and times of extreme saddness. UP and DOWN. You never knew what you were going to feel from one day to the next because of the extreme mood swings from my parents.

Happy times but many difficult times as well.

As a child I so desperately wanted a “NORMAL” life like my other friends seemed to have or that my cousins had at their homes. Yet, most often than not, there was no fairy tale at my home.

Material possessions do not equate love..

Today, I am living a life that I never dreamed of having as a child that was full of fear, anxiety and later as an adult agoraphobic..
HAPPY IS, HAPPY DOES..

Today, I want to offer you the freedom to be happy..

It is okay to be happy.

I give you permission to be happy but more importantly, God gives you permission and sent His son to die on the cross for us to have an abundant life John 10:10 (b)..

Don’t allow the enemy to keep you stuck in your past, live with regrets or to lose sight of who God has called you to be.

Eyes on God

orange flower oswald chambers

Oswald Chambers: We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties.

This life is harsh.
This life is painful at times.
This life is anxiety filled at times.
This life is difficult.
This life is challenging.
This life is demanding of our time.
In this life we will see a fallen world; YET, GOD IS ALIVE

Yet, when we trust in God and allow our eyes to stay fixed on Him and His Word, life can and will be so much more relaxed, peaceful, joyful and simple. Taking our eyes off of God and His Word will allow all of the above to overshadow His plan and His purpose for anything and everything we face in this life.

Oh, I know life can be a struggle at times and challenging, but I sure would rather be walking through this life with God by my side and Jesus in my heart, than walking through life struggling all alone.

Out of the two options: I PICK GOD AND I WANT TO CONTINUE TO KEEP MY EYES ON HIM.

I have been handed my share of difficulties in this life… more than I would ever wish on my worst enemy. I don’t know if that means God trusts me to handle what He has allowed to enter my life or if He is wanting me to learn a lesson I have yet to learn. I don’t really know…

One thing I can be sure of though: Even when I have doubted His goodness and His faithfulness, both were still there waiting for me to grab on for dear life.

Goodness and Mercy have followed me according to Psalm 23:6, even when I have doubted.

Psalm 23:6
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.

Many a time I have sat on the floor begging and pleading for God to change the outcome of a situation I have been faced with, whether it was the loss of my grandmother to murder or the loss of relationship with my son or the loss of my “life” due to my anxiety and agoraphobia. Many a times, I have felt like He has not heard me and my begging, but in the end I have to trust that He knows best.

Over a period of time things just began to finally line up for me to begin walking on the path to finding freedom from my anxiety, depression and agoraphobia. I am not sure what changed other than myself. I have lived with each of those from as early of an age as 4 or 5 years old. I have never known a time in my adult/teenage years that I have not struggled, so for freedom in any form is such an awesome feeling.. Words can’t describe the joy I feel..

God didn’t change.
God didn’t leave.
God didn’t move.
God didn’t turn a deaf ear.
God knew the time and place that my healing would happen. I just had to be patient and allow Him to set in motion all of the “pieces” that needed to be in place. Maybe it was my stubborness or my pride that kept me bound for so long. I know that part of the problem was my lack of trust in God and His love for me. Some was trying to hold onto the ashes of my past instead of letting God have all of that as well.

I don’t know why it took so long, but today I am thankful that I am in a better place and on the journey to enjoying life.

I am learning to keep my EYES on GOD and not the anxiety of life or the difficulties of life.

WITH GOD:
LIFE IS JOYFUL
LIFE IS PEACEFUL
LIFE IS HAPPINESS
LIFE IS A JOURNEY
LIFE IS LOVE
LIFE IS BEING LOVED AND LOVING OTHERS
LOVE OF LIFE

Today,my friend I want to offer you hope and a word of encouragement. Keep praying. Keep seeking God and His Word for your situation. Nothing is impossible for God. Maybe today it won’t happen, but that does not mean it can’t happen tomorrow or the next day. God is not the author of confusion ( 1 Corinthians 14:33), so stay focused, peaceful and allow God to take the reigns of your life. He knows best. Hugs to each of you today.

ReWriting the Script in Your Mind

pic of scripts

Each person, whether from a good home or a not-so good home, has some form of a script in their head that the enemy can use to keep us beat down, feeling rejected or lost but ultimately, the script runs over and over in our minds to keep us from our healing that God so desperately wants for us.

Life can beat us down whether we want it to or not. Tragedies happen. Life gets busy, financial stresses can happen but also we can face relationship struggles because of this continual script we hear over and over in our own minds.

Often we are not hearing the words spoken by anyone else to us, but the words are running rampant in our own minds.

Our original God-given emotional scripts are often warped by messages that our experiences, our cirumstances, and the voices of significant people wrote on our hearts.”

These scripts then become the screenplays for our lives; dictating our responses and reactions. Rewriting the script in your mind and heart will mean erasing old messages that are harmful and replacing them with God’s Word and new attitudes as well.

According to 2 Corinthians 5:17, We are new creations in Christ and everything is new, so this allows us to rewrite the old and make it brand new in our mind.

One of the enemies tactics in keeping us bound to the “bad” script, is by wanting us to believe that we are not precious to God. The enemy wants our doubts, shame, guilt and fears to keep us blinded to the depths of love God has for us and how precious we are to him as individuals. We often think that everyone else is precious to HIM; except us.

Often, we are not even fully aware of the total healing that God wants to perform in our lives because of our own scripts saying we are worthless, beyond repair, our sins are too deep, our pain is too severe and on and on. The scripts continue to have the power to control our lives, when in reality GOD IS THE ULTIMATE POWER and He calls us precious, worthy, loved, valued and chosen.

Today, I want to offer you a word of encouragement from someone that lived with a very unhealthy script for 47 years. My script was burrowed deep down into my mind and heart from years of rejection, abuse, loss and fear, yet over time of changing the script and the way I spoke to myself and about myself, God has opened a door of feeling peace on many levels that I have never experienced before. Oh, of course, the enemey wants to draw me back into his evil web of lies and rejection but thankfully, most days that is not even a possiblity. I am not where I want to be in my walk with the Lord and I am certainly not free from all of the past, but through changing my words, thoughts and feelings, I am able to change the evil script that keeps trying to control my life into a positive script where God has the control over me and my life.

Each day:
Remember you are worhty
Remember you are loved
Remember you are chosen
Remember you are FREE
Remember you are HIS